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What we can learn from Aubrey Plaza’s honest take on grief
Aubrey Plaza is opening up with raw honesty about the grief she has faced since the death of her husband, filmmaker Jeff Baena, earlier this year. In a candid conversation on her friend and former Parks and Recreation co-star Amy Poehler’s podcast Good Hang, Plaza reflected on her loss while navigating the complexities of moving forward.
“On behalf of all the people who feel like they know you, and the people who do know you, how are you feeling today?” Poehler asked Plaza at the start of their conversation.
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“In this very, very present moment, I feel happy to be with you,” Plaza responded. “I think, like, I’m OK. But you know, it’s like a daily struggle.”
Baena, a respected director and screenwriter, passed away in January at the age of 47. His death was confirmed by the Los Angeles County Medical Examiner, who reported that Baena died by suicide.
He was known for his work co-writing the 2004 film I Heart Huckabees, as well as collaborating with Plaza on several projects, including the 2014 horror-comedy Life After Beth, the 2021 comedy anthology series Cinema Toast, and the 2022 dark comedy Spin Me Round. Plaza and Baena began their relationship in 2011 and later married, with Plaza confirming their union on social media in 2021.
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During the podcast, Plaza shared that despite the grief, she has found small moments of gratitude. “Right in this very, very present moment, I feel happy to be with you,” she said to Poehler. “I feel, overall, I’m here and I’m functioning—and I feel, you know, like I feel really grateful to be moving through the world.”
In reflecting on the emotional terrain of loss, Plaza used an unexpected metaphor from cinema to describe the daily experience of grief. She compared it to the 2025 thriller The Gorge, which starred Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy as operatives guarding opposite sides of a vast gorge inhabited by monsters.
“In the movie … there’s a cliff on one side, and then there’s a cliff on the other side, and then there’s gorge in between, and it’s filled with all these, like, monster people that are trying to get them,” Plaza explained.
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“I swear, when I watched it, I was like, ‘That feels like what my grief is like’ … or what grief could be like, where it’s like, at all times, there’s a giant ocean of just awfulness that’s, like, right there, and I can see it. And like, sometimes, I just want to just dive into it and just be in it. And then sometimes, I just look at it. And then sometimes, I’m like, I just try to get away from it, but it’s always there. It’s just always there, and the monster people are trying to get me, like Miles.”
Plaza’s openness highlights both the painful persistence of grief and the resilience required to face it. Through her words, she offered a glimpse into the ongoing process of healing, underscoring that even in the darkest of times, moments of presence, gratitude, and connection can provide solace.
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