A Story of Choosing Yourself Boldly and Courageously

To saying No, so that we can say YES to ourselves.

No one tells you as a woman growing up how hard it would be to simply say NO. Just a simple NO. No explanations, no justifications, no arguments, just NO. Why is saying No to others to say yes to ourselves so hard? Maybe it’s because as women existing in a patriarchal world,  we’ve been taught that our value is attached to what we can do for others. Essentially,  we’ve been assigned value based on how much we self-abandon. The more we give to others while sacrificing our well-being, the better mother we are, the better wife, girlfriend, friend, co-worker, employee, the list goes on and while everyone around us thrives, we slowly disappear inside.

In October of 2022, I had the honor of being selected as a storyteller for the WeAllGrow Latina Summit. The theme was “Saying No, to Say Yes.” I pitched several stories, but the one they selected for me to develop and perform was the most vulnerable for me. It was a story about breaking harmful patterns of confusing and unhealthy love. It was the story of walking away from a relationship that I thought was for me so that I could give myself the chance at good, healthy, love.

I knew I was up for a big task as I would have to completely let my guard down in front of thousands of people and be as real and as vulnerable as possible to tell this story. As I coached with Cathy Murillo (@CraftyChica) she opened me up to do it in my own way and in my own style. As a filmmaker, I tend to approach things from a very immersive perspective. So, I used the writing process to create an experience, something that could immerse viewers and the live audience into my internal dialogue and dilemma as I broke the cycle and chose myself boldly and courageously. 

Too often we as women play small, we follow too many rules, and we’re too concerned with how we’re perceived if we speak out our deepest/darkest secrets. So, we hold it all in and save face by convincing ourselves that we are when most times we are not. So, I gave myself permission to say NO and walk away. “I wasn’t walking away from him,  I wasn’t saying NO to him per say. I was saying NO to the old me that didn’t believe I deserved better.” 

I hope that anyone reading this also finds moments in their life where they say NO so that they can say YES to themselves and live the life they deserve to live. 

By: Eliana Reyes

Enjoy!

Check our Women’s Special Mujeres In Charge to hear some amazing latinas sharing their journey!