The Moment I Knew Something Was Off: Carolina and Her Abuelita

Carolina Trejos was always familiar with Alzheimer’s disease, but she didn’t understand it fully until her abuelita was diagnosed five years ago. Now, as host of the Ad Council series co-produced by LatiNation Media, Ad Council, and Alzheimer’s Association, she wants to share her story.

“My abuela is one of the most important women in my life,” Trejos says. “She gave us tough love, like any good Latina abuela does.”

Trejos, an on-camera host and journalist, is originally from Pereira, Colombia, and now lives in Los Angeles with her husband and 1-year-old son, Leo. Like many of us who leave home in pursuit of dynamic careers and fast-paced lifestyles, Carolina watered the soil of long-distance relationships back in Colombia with phone calls and FaceTime dates.

It was on these calls with her abuelita that she started noticing early signs of memory loss.

“She started getting me and my sister confused with each other,” Carolina explains.

Carolina’s sister, Natalia, is an actress and executive producer who also left South America with dreams of the big life. Both sisters may share a creative heart and an ambitious spirit, but they’re totally different people with entirely different characteristics. It wasn’t normal for their abuelita to confuse them, their names, their characteristics, what they do for a living, or what their lives look like at home.

Carolina recently gave birth to a son, but her abuelita couldn’t seem to remember if her great-grandson came from Carolina—or her sister. She couldn’t remember who was who in the family. That moment made it even more clear to Carolina that her abuela was changing.

Over the last five years, her abuela’s Alzheimer’s has progressed. Because they were able to identify the signs early on, the family was able to act and give their abuela the care she needed, and deserved.

Early signs of Alzheimer’s and dementia can include decreased judgment – like dealing with money with poor judgement or paying less attention to grooming –, or misplacing items and having trouble retracing steps to find them again.

At first, Carolina’s father–Abuela’s son–returned to Colombia to care for her, with the help of his siblings. Eventually, when it became clear she needed more consistent care, the family made the difficult decision to move her into a professional living facility equipped with medical assistance professionals. There, they track her meals and her medication, and they even have entertainment, as well as other people in her generation to keep her company.

“Her physical appearance has changed a lot,” Carolina reflects. “Not only because she is aging, but because with Alzheimer’s comes a lot of memory loss, which includes not remembering when she ate last, not remembering the taste of some things, and also not liking the taste of her favorite foods. So, she has lost a lot of weight and looks a lot thinner than the image I have always had of her.”

It’s not easy watching loved ones change so much. As their memories slip away, it’s important to remind them who you are and how much you love them.

The way Carolina sees it, her family is so close-knit because of her abuela. All those years, she was resilient and assertive and did her best to keep the family together. And she did.

So, now, it’s her children and grandchildren who are stepping up to help Abuela in her time of need. Even if she can’t remember everything exactly the way it was, Carolina believes a familiar face can go a long way.

Besides, some things never change.

“One aspect that has not changed … is her sense of humor,” Carolina says. “She was always making jokes or, as a good grandma, making fun of her grandchildren or her own kids or putting us up in fun fights against each other. [Now], even though her memory is not the same anymore, she … still tries to brush things off, or come across as funny [the way] her children and grandchildren have always known her.”

Alzheimer’s disease affects every patient and family differently. It can be messy. It’s never easy to find out a loved one will slowly start to lose their memory. But understanding the circumstances and available resources can facilitate decision-making to ensure that your loved one receives appropriate care.

“Have lots of patience,” Carolina says. “It can get very frustrating to care for someone who is no longer able to even remember their own name or remember family members. But [it’s important that] there’s a familiar face around who is willing to help them keep a sense of sanity and familiarity—through games or photos or family interactions.”

Carolina takes it one day at a time.

Knowing the 10 early signs of Alzheimer’s helps you notice changes in a loved one and make the best decisions for your family. Visit 10signs.org to learn more.