Single on Valentine’s Day? Romance Yourself Instead

In her new single, Miley Cyrus says she can buy herself flowers. So can we.

All holidays come with certain expectations. On Christmas, it’s buying the best gift. On Halloween, it’s finding the right costume.  On Thanksgiving: making sure the turkey isn’t dry.

The expectation on Valentine’s Day is maybe the highest stakes of all: it’s all about falling in love.

Already in a committed relationship? Congratulations. Enjoy a beautiful dinner together and fall in love all over again.

Been seeing someone for a few months and it’s going well? Take a moonlit walk by the water and make things official.

But for the rest of us, let’s review why being single is ultimately better.

1. You’re free to do what you want, when you want. Not to say when you’re in a relationship you lose your freedom, but you do bend your orbit to meet someone else’s. On your own, you’re free to make plans with different friends each night, attend parties on your own, flirt with your local barista, and go on dates with a variety of interesting individuals. People in love are consistently sharing entrees and coordinating outfits with the same person. As singles, we get to mix things up on the daily!
2. You are emotionally responsible for yourself and no one else. If you’re in a great mood, you don’t have to worry your partner might be having a hard day. If you’re in a bad mood, no one’s going to force you out of your pajamas. And wherever you are on your emotional journey, you get to experience the rollercoaster of life at your own speed and on your own time.
3. No one can bring you down except yourself. Let’s face it. Sometimes the people we love are the people that hurt us the most. Being single means you don’t have to deal with passive aggressive comments about your habits or sit through movies that appease someone else’s taste. You might have to pump yourself up, but at least there’s no one that can step on your groove. Besides, if you’re not in a relationship that elevates you, then you’re wasting your time.

Relocate to a new city. Reinvent your style. Sleep all day with your phone on do-not-disturb. When you’re single, you’re really only accountable for yourself (and your family and friends when you’re available). And, with the right perspective, being single is an empowering chapter in your life.

But not on Valentine’s Day, right? Thanks to American consumerism and societal pressures to recreate scenes from our favorite rom coms, there’s this idea that being single on February 14th is sad and lonely.

Let’s reject that narrative! Who ever said that romance requires two individuals? Let’s romance ourselves instead.

This year, when your alarm goes off, treat yourself to breakfast. Enjoy your morning coffee on a pretty patio or in your favorite corner at home.

If you have the day free, spend time with yourself doing things that feel good. Go to the gym, attend a yoga class, bike through the city, or hike a new trail. Go off-the-grid and listen to your favorite music. If you work during the day, wear a new outfit and avoid Instagram between meetings. Stop at the store after you’re off and buy yourself a gift.

Feeling social for dinner? Meet other single friends at a nice restaurant or sit solo at the bar and make conversation with other guests. Who knows who you’ll meet, right? For all the introverts out there, order take-out from a place you love and binge a TV show you haven’t made the time to get through.

At some point in the day, buy yourself flowers. Put them in a beautiful vase near a sunny window. Be reminded that love is abundant, you know yourself better than anyone else, and perspective changes your world.

Miley Cyrus’ new album “Endless Summer Vacation” is out March 10, 2023.