Why are Queer Icons Typically Straight Women?

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When we think about gay icons, celebrities like Lady Gaga, Paulina Rubio, and Beyoncé come to mind.

For years, these fierce and fabulous straight women have reigned as champions and defenders of gay love and gay rights. So, naturally, the community has made them their queens.

“Celebrity fandom is really just a bizarro reflection of ourselves: who we are, what we value, who we want to be,” Grace Perry says in a BuzzFeed article.

Gay teenagers line their bedroom walls with posters of Gloria Trevi and Ariana Grande. Thirty and Forty-somethings bop to the remastered tracks of Madonna and Cher in gay clubs.

However old you are, no matter where you live, most gays have an allegiance to one of these pop culture queens. Their confident styles are copied, their points of view are spread, and their love lives are discussed at length in gay friend-groups around the world.

“The most noted and revered of gay men’s icons are inevitably quirky or uncommonly beautiful and always talented,” says Trevor Martin in a Huffington Post piece. “They portray a vulnerability that is often wrapped up in strength in the face of adversity. Lurking behind the glitz they may have troubled personal lives.”

They are allies, advocates, artists, and make bold choices on the red carpet. They cast gay dancers on their tours, show up to parties with gay friends, and even write songs that uplift and celebrate gay life.

They serve as coveted symbols of the community. A bit ironic.

“Straight women are, obviously, not gay men. Though the diva of the moment may be a fierce ally, she can’t be the best example of a community to which she doesn’t actually belong,” Russell Wagoner says in a Mic article. “Straight women are … mediating the gay voice through their lens as a straight woman.”

So then why are queer icons so often straight women? If these famous women cannot actually exemplify the gay experience, why do so many young gay kids gravitate toward the same stars even before entering the gay scene as adults?

Is it this natural affinity gay men have for the strong and feminine, or is it a societal accident?

“The reality is that [queer] people often are not equipped with idols, they often are not born into a family with LGBTQ+ role models in it,” sociologist Dr. Rosie Nelson tells The Independent in a piece about this topic.

Without anyone to look up to in the family, gay kids turn to pop culture next. Without proper gay representation in pop culture, gay kids relate to the next best thing—female pop icons, with whom they do have a lot in common.

Female pop icons often sing about their attraction to men—also true for gay men. They often leave small towns for the glamour of big city life—as do many gay men. They create a fabulous public image, embrace camp, and show up confidently and authentically—which most gay men mirror and aspire to do. They have often survived troubled relationships and traumatic upbringings—a real and tragic through-line for many in the gay community, too.

In a BBC piece that honors Judy Garland as the ultimate gay icon, Louis Staples writes:

“A 1969 review of her Palace Theatre show in Esquire Magazine reads: ‘Homosexuals tend to identify with suffering. They are a persecuted group and they understand suffering. And so does Garland.’”

Judy Garland was born in Minnesota and became a star after her portrayal of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. She tragically overdosed and passed away before turning 50-years-old.

“Analyzing her story, from upbringing to death, helps us to understand how and why some gay men look to famous women to help them navigate the world,” Staples goes on to say.

Since Garland, there has been a cultural shift entirely around mainstream acceptance of gay life. We’ve celebrated the legalization of gay marriage in several countries across the Americas and around the world. We’ve watched films like My Own Private Idaho, Call Me by Your Name, and Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. We have Ricky Martin and Troye Sivan.

But even now, with better queer representation on screen and in media, these fierce and fabulous straight women still consume the cultural capital of the gay community. Straight actors getting cast in queer roles only accentuates the dilemma.

“Given the wealth of openly queer celebrities we have … pop stars, action heroes, champion athletes,” Grace Perry goes on to say in her 2019 BuzzFeed piece. “Why do we keep hoisting so many straight people up as gay icons?”

Maybe we need to shift our attention to the new generation of queer icons who are actually queer. Maybe we need to accept that these sensational straight pop stars are an intrinsic part of queer culture at large. Maybe it’s both, maybe it’s neither.

Either way, we keep dancing.

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