LIVING Y READY: Dealing with Rejection and Finding a Chosen Family

HIV disproportionately affects Hispanic/Latinos who may have limited access to high-quality health and some diagnosis continue to foster inequities. Social and structural problems—such as stigma, homophobia, and more, can affect someone’s journey, who, while dealing with their diagnosis, on a personal level, they’re also “battling rejection and seeking out validation from their loved ones.”

As part of our Living Y Ready exclusive series, two brave trans women, Melody Torres and Miranda Ramirez stopped by to chat about their journey growing up in a Latino household.

On our new segment, Natalie Sanchez, Director of the UCLA Family AIDS Network, leads the conversation topics from HIV in the Latino culture, finding support within your family or chosen family to sorting out the ins-and-outs of an HIV diagnosis and getting treatment to continue thriving in life.  

“Coming out to [my mom] wasn’t the best experience, she was a single mother trying to raise kids on her own… hearts out to the Latina mothers who are doing that on their own — having to choose getting supported by a guy and my son here is telling me the news, you’re gay and you want to wear girl’s clothes,“ says Miranda as she remembers the commands her mom for her strength as a Latina woman. Despite not being accepted by her mother, Miranda looks at the fundamentals of that life experience in a more positive light. 

“It was a lot to deal with and hurt was everywhere,” she sares. “Not having support and not having anyone to teach me what is gay, what is trans, how to use a condom, what is HIV.” 

FINDING FRIENDS AND SUPPORT IN A CHOSEN FAMILY

Melody, based on her experience, transitioning can be hard on a young person and everyone in the family needs to transition with you. 

“Today’s world 20 years ago is still pretty hard because Latinos — this is my family I can only speak for me— in my family are Baby Boomers and Baby Boomers used to just try to “disimular” or blend in. And when you get a child like me, I was born a stand out, it was like: what are we going to do with her? They just abandoned me away, so rejection was a huge part of my journey.”

“ A chosen family is very important, especially for people who are living a trans experience life.” 

“Sometimes we’re not supported by our own family, so we seek out support from others and and sometimes we seek out the validation and love from the wrong people, like drug addicts, men, sex work.” – Melody Torres.

Now, these women compare their lives now vs. when they were diagnosed and they find themselves thriving in life and career and have found relationships and friends to do life with. Make sure you watch the full conversation on our newest Living Y Ready episode!