How Moving Affects Your Mental Health

When it comes to life’s chaotic routines, our homes provide a safe space to return to.

Our homes—characterized by the music we play, the things we say, the ways we organize the spice drawer, or how we display art on the walls—become characters in our life. In time, they resemble us, like a close friend of the family. Our personalities, our identities, get etched into the paint on the walls; the rooms become reflections of who we are.

As we grow, so do our homes. When we get promoted or start new relationships, when we have kids and throw parties, when we lose loved ones or overcome trauma, our homes absorb our many journeys. Our homes become constants in our lives, unchanging variables against an ever-changing world. When life happens unexpectedly, when plans get canceled, rescheduled, or rearranged, our homes provide, like romantic partners, a sense of stability, groundedness.

When we love our homes, when we feel safe and seen and reflected when we come inside, it’s easier to take risks when we navigate the world when we go out. When we love our bedrooms where we dream, our kitchens where we cook, our chairs by the window where we drink coffee and make lists, we can breathe just a little easier, reflect a bit clearer. It is at home we stabilize our mental health, refocus our energy. It’s where we plant roots.

Moving throws this entire emotional framework into disarray.

In the New York Times piece, The Psychology of Moving, writer Sarah Kershaw describes the weight of this significant life change.

“Whether one moves frequently or almost never, moving is an intensely emotional experience,” she says. “…Housing and moving are filled with symbolism, the hope for new beginnings, crushing disappointments, loss, anxiety and fear.”

Packing up one house and setting up another is not a one-day affair. Pre-moving and post-moving, like a production schedule, includes weeks (sometimes months) of minimizing your belongings, finding a new home, getting support for moving day, sourcing new furniture, setting up bills—ultimately closing a chapter and starting a new one. On top of life and its many obligations already, moving means added layers of stress emotionally, physically, and financially.

While moving, we cannot lean on our homes for emotional stability.

According to the Healthline piece, Ways to Cope with Relocation Depression, this lack of control over our environment has tremendous effects on our mental health.

“Changing homes can be very disruptive. This disruption to your routine—as well as the anxiety associated with the move and adapting to a new space—can trigger deep but temporary sadness. In some cases, moving might also mean losing your support network, experiencing culture shock, and feeling isolated from others.”

What we can control is how we prepare for the move.

Psychology Today recently published the piece, A Holistic Approach to Make Moving Less Stressful, where psychologist Seth Meyers suggests healthy practices during this transitional time.

“Create a plan for mental health support before, during, and after moving day,” he says. “Rather than starting the packing process and getting overwhelmed to the point of snapping at friends or family in frustration, gently and clearly communicate with those close to you that you are all going to need more help than usual to meet all the demands.”

Once you’re moved in, feeling at home in your new house will take time.

Inevitably, you will see boxes tucked behind the trash can. You might feel like a stranger at the table, like you’re on an extended stay out of town. You’ll be making decisions in rapid succession, and second-guessing your choices. Everyone who visits comments on the place—the kitchen cabinets, the bedroom size, the neighborhood. And you’ll apologize for the art unhung, leaning against the bottom of the wall, for the clutter on the patio, for the boxes still tucked behind the trash can.

Little by little, the house will start to reflect who you’re trying to become, your attitudes toward the world encompassed into a handful of rooms. As you fill the pantry with your favorite foods, host an evening with your closest friends, and decorate the space with meaningful pieces of art, the feeling of home will return—and with it hopefully a renewed sense of who you are and your place in the world.