Fears of Having HIV: Top Ways to Support Someone After a Positive Diagnose

Living with HIV can be overwhelming for many reasons, including the fear of infecting others. While using condoms and not sharing needles are simple ways to reduce the risk of transmission, it’s still easy to understand why people living with HIV fear spreading the virus to their partners. If you’re in a relationship with someone who recently tested positive for HIV, here are steps you can take to make them feel comfortable with continuing sexual activity with you after receiving the news.

1. LGBTQ COMMUNITY

Generally speaking, the LGBTQ community is more open to living with HIV than the general population. Even if you don’t identify with the LGBTQ community, other people in your life do. When you make an effort to let your partner know that they can still enjoy their sex life, they will feel less anxious about becoming infected and start to spread that fear.

2. ASK THEM TO PREPARE

When a person is diagnosed with HIV, it can be a shocker for both partners involved. While you might be in shock, your partner will likely experience sadness or anger. Ask them to be prepared to tell you what they are feeling and let them know there will be time to talk about their fears after they feel comfortable moving forward. For now, let them know that you don’t blame them for the transmission and that you’re committed to helping them maintain a healthy and happy sex life with you.

3. HIV PREVENTION

After a person is diagnosed with HIV, there are things to consider that are specific to their situation. For example, your partner will have medication compliance issues and much more to plan for. Before you can enjoy sex again, you need to ensure they’re on top of these things. If they aren’t ready yet, be patient and wait until they are.

WATCH: ‘HIV Does Not Define Me’ | Living y Ready

4. UNDERSTOOD.ORG

Even if you’re not ready for that level of engagement yet, you can start with a few simple steps here and there and then take it from there. If you’re still unsure how to help your partner continue to enjoy sex, consider encouraging them to reach out for support through services like Understood.org. This non-profit organization offers online and in-person counselling for people under 30 who live with HIV/AIDS or anyone questioning their sexuality.

5. YOUR RELATIONSHIP

The last thing you want to do is break up with your partner. While living with HIV, you should never pressure them into doing something they aren’t comfortable with. If things go that far, there is another person who will be willing to help them enjoy their sexuality again. Trust them during this time and continue to let them know you’re there for them if they need your support.

6. SPREAD THE WORD

When you educate others about living with HIV and support those going through this experience, you’re helping your partner’s recovery and other people living with the same situation. If you use social media, share links to resources that will help them feel comfortable talking to and receiving support from others in their situation. Your partner is not alone; they can recover fully when they know they have your support, too.

If you’re in a relationship with someone who recently received an HIV diagnosis and is looking for ways to support them during this time, talk with your partner about getting tested. Then, use the tips above as a guide for how you can show your love and support after their news is revealed.