Why Dating Apps are Good for the Queer Community

We live in a straight world.

Walking the dog down the block, checking out at the grocery, or signing for an Amazon package: the possibility of chemistry between a man and a woman is ever-present (and sometimes expected). Some proudly admit they flirt their way through life.

And this isn’t a problem! First and foremost, it’s numbers; there are more straight people than queer people in society, so mainstream society is built for them. Secondly, we have been groomed to understand that romantic chemistry exists between a man and a woman. This majority privilege paired with historic preference has cultivated a cultural environment that encourages impromptu chemistry among straight folks.

sourced from Instagram | @retroads

For queer people, there are more obstacles.

The possibility of chemistry comes around less frequently. And when it does, there are other factors to consider. Are they even queer? How do they identify? Are we compatible? These days, straight dudes paint their nails and straight ladies buzz their heads, so it’s harder to correlate expression to preference. Plus, let’s get real: taking a chance on someone who isn’t queer can cause incredible discomfort for both parties and, in some places, put you in danger.

“In my generation, we had a neighborhood,” says Andres Palencia, CEO of LATV Networks.

You’re gay and trying to vibe with people like you? The gay scene seems like the obvious choice. Historically, we’ve flocked to ‘boystown’ neighborhoods to enjoy romantic privileges otherwise less available in the straight world. But it can be quite intense. Laden with oversaturated clubs, brunch spots aplenty, and drugs galore, neighborhoods like WeHo prioritize the party. What’s more, straight people have danced their way into the glitter and glam.

And this isn’t a problem, either! For non-queers to have a great time in queer neighborhoods does more for advancing equality than any kind of legislature. That said, it’s made the potential for queer folks to connect more complex, less authentic, even at the center of the scene.

Besides, meeting on a club floor is different than accidentally catching someone’s eye in a bookstore aisle or getting hit on by someone cute at the mall. Where do we find those rom-com moments?

sourced from Instagram | @weho_times

Dating apps have attempted to fill that gap.

Mashable’s Leah Stodart and Miller Kern report: “…dating apps have become crucial means of introduction for gay folks looking to settle down. A 2019 Stanford study and 2020 Pew Research survey found that meeting online has become the most popular way for U.S. couples to connect — especially for gay couples, of which 28 percent met their current partner online (versus 11 percent of straight couples).”

Like a digital matchmaker, dating apps like Hinge, Grindr, and Field filter through the community around you and offer a curated collection of profiles that align with your preferences. For queer people especially, these platforms not only facilitate romance but connect the community at large (some people just need queer friends who live nearby).

sourced from Instagram | @n.ooo.x

Whether you’re looking for a long-term monogamous relationship, a friend with benefits, or something in between, dating apps strip down the walls we put up (sometimes because we must) and make space for the possibility of chemistry in a universe where things might actually work out.