Amazon’s New HQ Resembles A Poop Emoji

Amazon has officially unveiled its proposed design for the second phase of its second headquarters in Arlington, Virginia.

Holy sh*t…(literally). I think certain design firms should employ at least one young, cool, and slightly cynical person as quality control, so that something like this never happens again.

The building looks like a poop emoji.

Despite the resemblance to the twirly, turdly emoticon, the development will proceed as planned. It will span across 2.8 million square feet of new office space distributed throughout three 22-story buildings. The workspace is designed to promote “collaboration and constant interaction with nature.”

Aligning with “Amazon’s Climate Pledge to be net-zero carbon by 2040,” the buildings are designed to be LEED Platinum, known as the highest certification for sustainable development that can be issued by the U.S. Green Building Council. Amazon hopes to add an all-electric central heating and cooling system as well as run fully on 100% renewable energy from a Virginia-based solar farm.

All that is well and good, but Cuban-American founder and chairman Jeff Bezos should really reconsider some of the outer portion’s lines, because when I look at an image of this building I can only see one thing, and it’s not the green tech, it’s that little brown doodoo with eyes I include in my funniest texts.

The design concept supposedly takes its inspiration from “the natural beauty of a double helix,” which is meant to celebrate Amazon’s own corporate DNA. But sorry, all I (and many others) see if a poop emoji.